God Bless the Child

Christmas is bearing down upon us. Even those among us who strive to observe a quiet, reflective Advent season leading up to The Big Day can struggle amid the commercially driven whirlwind around us. Shopping, office parties, time with extended family, holiday performances, and children’s activities pack calendars. Higher sugar intake, overeating, skipping the gym, and not getting enough sleep or quiet time in nature exacerbate the ability of these demands to wear us thin. Eventually a little one has enough of it. And begins to scream. Loudly! And usually in public or at a family gathering.

Modern life leading up to Christmas doesn’t look much like that quiet, serene nativity scene on the mantle, does it?

When we’re the observers, it’s easy to judge the adults responsible for that wailing little one. It’s easy to silently prescribe a spanking, a small purchase, leaving the store, threatening the child, and who knows what else. Some folks dare to utter their prescriptions out loud to young parents and other caregivers, in menacing tones and laced with profanity, no less.

In this last week before Christmas, I challenge you to take — and model for others — a different approach:

• Admit that in some years — perhaps this one? — you might gladly join that little one in screaming if you could get away with it!

• Remember that you were once a little one — unhappy, tired and careworn, and that you wailed loudly, too. Many times. Very likely in public.

Then, be kind. Do what an older gentleman once did for attorney Gayle Trotter when one of her children became upset in public. Trotter shared that experience on the “Tell Me More” radio one evening:

“And I had an older man come up to me and he said – I thought he was going to fuss at me like these other experiences. And he came up to me and he put his arm on my shoulder, and he said, you’re a great mom. You have great kids. Don’t sweat it.”

Before the end of 2016, I challenge you to reach out to a tired mom, dad, grandparent, auntie, or other caregiver with an upset little one in tow and support that person by saying:

“You’re great. You have great kids. Don’t sweat it.”

Quotation

Trotter, G. Speaking on “Tantrums: To Control or Not to Control?” Tell Me More, Dec. 17, 2013. Broadcast on WABE-FM 90.1. Transcript available at http://www.npr.org/2013/12/17/251955370/tantrums-to-control-or-not-to-control .

Lea McLees, MS, NCC, LPC, is a workshop facilitator who offers pre-marital, pre-parenting, and parenting workshops, as well as wellness workshops, throughout metro Atlanta.